There are times in life when the ground beneath your feet doesn’t feel solid, fixed, or secure. It’s a scary feeling. It’s as if the rug’s been pulled out from under you and you’re left to drift through life, desperately seeking a footing.
We’ve all been there. Some of us are there now. We approach God and hear nothing. His overwhelming presence isn’t like it once was and we wonder why, why does He feel so distant?
Well, I’m here to tell you: I don’t know why, exactly. But, after being through times of silence and distance from Him (even if they’re just perceived) I’ve learned a few possibilities.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I’m revering the One that will bring me through. (Psalm 23:2,4)
We’re all waiting for something. Each one of us has a desire in our heart that hasn’t been answered by God. We’re seeking and longing and questioning. Wondering if He’s really heard us or if He even cares. There’s a craving and a searching that can’t be quenched, no matter how hard we strive. We want that thing so badly and yet it seems so far out of reach.
I’m convicted of how little I trust God with the known.
It’s full of the things He’s revealed to me; the ideas, thoughts, and knowledge that I’ve grown to know and claim as my own. It’s in those things that pride builds and trust diminishes too quickly. I forget that even in the known He is the Giver. Nothing I have or even think, is my own. All good things come from Him and Him alone.
But, because it’s known it’s easy to become comfortable and “secure”.
In contrast the unknown tends to be scary because, well, we don’t know what’s there. And it gives us two options: to trust God because there is no unknown to Him or paralyzing fear (and sadly, I choose paralysis too often).
Yet, the moment He makes something known to me I tend to take it and run. I think that because it’s something within my reach, within my knowledge base, I am now the ruler and controller of it. Whether consciously or not, I try to work and manipulate it, the people around me, and my circumstances in ways that will cause this revelation to come about the way I think it should.
God isn’t the type to reveal all the details, just parts, so instead of trusting Him to fill in the “gaps” and allowing Him to lead me daily, I tend to take the pieces I have and fill in the holes however I can to make the truth “work”.